As I board my flight to New York in an hour, my month-long trip to Toronto comes to an endβthe very first time Iβve traveled and lived entirely by myself: no roommate to share the month with, no hackathon to grind through, and no startup Iβm living at. Naturally, I think itβs worthwhile to take some time and write about how things are going right now :)
This post is much more a stream of thoughts than a nicely thought-out blog post, so please excuse the inconsistent pacing and less-than-ideal delivery.
opportunity & immigration
Each time Iβve landed in a new city these past three years, Iβve felt a strong yearning and excitement for what is to come. Touchdown is the very beginning of whatever ardent journey is about to begin. Landing in Toronto however, while still bringing out excitement for the next month I was going to spend at the lab, also brought out a deep sense of gratitude for where I am today.
Just about six years ago, my family and I landed in this very same city, just having moved from India. In a span of fourteen days, we found out we would be moving out, packed up as much of our life as we could fit in eight suitcases, and flew out of the one country I had ever considered home. Today, after many years of settling into this new home, growing up to become the person I am, and doing my very best to make use of the opportunity this country has given me, I was landing in the very same airport again.
Recently, over multiple late night debates with Julia, we have quite extensively discussed the premise of whether who we become is shaped more by our own abilities and choices, or by perception, circumstance, and birth. While our conversations were entertainingly long and often strayed far from the premise, we kept coming back to this image of people filling the vessels they are placed in. Moving to Canada, for example, was my parents taking an active step to place me in a bigger vessel I could grow into, rather than overflowing in a smaller one. Similarly, Julia heading from Burnaby South to Harvard was a direct result of her constant struggle in a restrictive vessel, now replaced by one where her potential could fully thrive.
After spending most of the past two years actively seeking out new opportunities (vessels), this made me think more about the potential of the space I already occupy, rather than constantly seeking bigger better ones. For example, Iβve always been incredibly envious of the vast amount of opportunity in competitive American high schoolsβwhere it is the norm to take multivariable calculus in high school, dual enrol in local universities, and actively volunteer at frontier research labs. Could people in my school (and my friends in India) achieve just as much if they had access to the same opportunity?
Sure, many of these areas (Palo Alto, Boston, etc) are self-selecting hotspots where academic/intellectual success is more actively pursued, but I donβt think thereβs an inherent difference in our capacity as students. After all, I am the same person I was before I immigrated, just more exposed to opportunity now.
I canβt help but wonder what more my graduating class would have achieved if it were the norm to take AP Calculus BC in Grade 11 rather than 12, to dual enrol for UBC courses rather than accept our limits, or to stretch the vessels we were placed in just a little more. Even our Calculus teacher, when Julia and I raised this in another long conversation over the summer, admitted he had similar concerns when thinking about the opportunities available to his own children.
At the end of the day, while I am in awe of how much society has achieved (like Air Travel, Diversity of Thought, Humanoid Robots), I do strongly believe that the vast majority of human potential is largely untouched. The average is only what we intend for it to be. In fact, I believe the bar for success is lower than the potential/capacity that most people already have. Most people not having adequate opportunity to leverage their potential is the reason we have so much disparity in outcomes.
Despite how naively idealist I may sound, I do think we are functioning in a pretty sub-optimal manner and could be doing a lot better for our future.
Β βI donβt think thereβs much of a difference in intellectual capacity between a randomly selected student in our Calculus class and one from a high-achieving class in the Bay Area.β
adulting & letting go
On a more personal note, this trip comes at a pretty consequential turning point of my life; after all, your last summer break is a very special momentβand also a time to bid an honest farewell. For the past many months, Iβve idealized all the things I wanted to do over the summer break: one month continuing my work at UofT, two weeks continuing my work in Palo Alto, time with my cousins and grandparents in Seattle, daily hikes and road trips with my high school friends, and savouring my day-to-day with my family. It was going to be goldenβcreating the best memories with my best friends and family, all while working enough to give myself the opportunities I wanted in the coming years.
It wasnβt until the school year actually ended when it occurred to me thatβ¦ this was it. Summer break wasnβt an indefinite amount of time that would wait for me to do all the things I wanted to do before slipping away. It was now, and it would be impossible to do everything I wanted to do. My life was suddenly going to be a very real thing, and I would no longer be operating within the cozy inconsequential sandbox Iβve spent the last 18 years of my life in.
So, without realizing it, I unknowingly picked a path at the crossroadsβchoosing to spend this month working in Toronto over relishing the last few weeks with the friends that defined my last half decade. Yet, the month has gone by and, while I expected to return regretful of my thoughtless choice, Iβm incredibly grateful for the opportunities I get to take and the fulfillment I get from the work I get to do. I absolutely love everyone who makes me who I am and I do enjoy the comfort of home, but these trips (and the change they bring) remind me how much I love the discomfort.
the immediate future
As for the coming time, I will be moving back east to study Computer Science at the University of Waterloo for the next five years. With this, I do plan to continue working at the University of Toronto for the coming months (a vessel Iβm still learning a lot within). Unfortunately, Iβll be leaving both Hack Club and the British Columbia Youth Developer Collectiveβalbeit Iβm really glad I could make BC a slightly better landscape for people aspiring to computer science, technology, and robotics. Both have given me the chance to meet new inspiring peers, and to help make a meaningful shift in the landscape for people aspiring to computer science, technology, and robotics across the province.
As Iβve been warned, the next five years will be a busy flurry of intellectually demanding courses, highly competitive job interviews and placements, and a lot of very new experiencesβoften all on the very same day. Iβm especially excited for my advanced level 1A courses, constantly being surrounded by people smarter and more ambitious than myself, and hopefully more opportunities to work with incredible people exploring interesting ideas at innovative companies.
See you soon βοΈ
